Proust Questionnaire: April's answers

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On Wed, 13 May 15 05:33:44 UTC April (21) answered the Proust Questionnaire (click on a question to read other answers):

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?: God's disappointment in me
Where would you like to live?: Somewhere where lies don't exist and friends don't betray
What is your idea of earthly happiness?: There is no happiness on earth, it is temporary and empty
To what faults do you feel most indulgent?: I can't let go of my burdens because when I do, I lose my humanity, and yet I break under the weight
Who are your favorite heroes of fiction?: The characters who were real and genuine, the emotions inside of them made them human, Aang and Zuko both portrayed these strong emotions in very different ways.
Who are your favorite characters in history?: Paul (once known as Saul) from the Bible.
Who are your favorite heroines in real life?: God is my only hope, my hope in everyone else is lost
Who are your favorite heroines of fiction?: Aang, from Avatar the Last Airbender. A simple-minded child forced to mature far beyond his age in order to save the world...it's a wonder he hasn't gone insane.
Your favorite painter?: Myself
Your favorite musician?: Hanz Zimmer, Nightwish, Two Steps from Hell
The quality you most admire in a man?: His loyalty, his love, his unbearable and insistent need to know and understand you
The quality you most admire in a woman?: Her loyalty, her love, her unbearable and insistent need to know and understand you
Your favorite virtue?: Love is stronger than death
Your favorite occupation?: Dreaming, hallucinating, daydreaming, writing, drawing, playing french horn, and being obsessed with the people I love...
Who would you have liked to be?: In a sense I am the worst thing: an imperfect, sinful human. In another sense I am the best thing: a daughter of God.
Your most marked characteristic?: Creative or misunderstood, or devoted, or perhaps a strong believer, motivated in the face of obstacles
What do you most value in your friends?: They are themselves, unique, and unable to be replaced in any way, shape, or form.
What is your principle defect?: Unable to connect with others, stressful, susceptible to madness in long periods of isolation, prone to be on a constant search of meaning when there is none to be found, eternally empty
What to your mind would be the greatest of misfortunes?: After all my work and my struggles, my despair, and my pain, coming face to face with God and having Him say "I never knew you."
What would you like to be?: I just wish I was the person God always meant for me to be
What is your favorite color?: Blue
What is your favorite flower?: It keeps changing...
What is your favorite bird?: That's difficult...
Who are your favorite prose writers?: David Clement-Davies
Who are your favorite poets?: I don't know many poets...
Who are your heroes in real life?: I don't have any...
Who are your favorite heroines of history?: Jesus
What are your favorite names?: Felan, Acelynn, Faolain, Micaiah, Jasper, Fenton, Juniper
What is it you most dislike?: Life
What historical figures do you most despise?: I would say Hitler, except that human beings continue to do this with millions of unborn babies everyday...we're all Hitlers
What event in military history do you most admire?: When Japan ticked the States off and made their worst mistake, and got what they deserved, thus ending the war and losing it
What natural gift would you most like to possess?: The ones I have; creativity, motivation, faith, but I need a bit more faith and a bit more wisdom...and always a bit more love.
How would you like to die?: Losing my life for Christ's sake and finding it.
What is your present state of mind?: Hopelessness and despair
What is your motto?: "You can trust that God's story will be good, whether we fell down or we stood."

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