Proust Questionnaire: J.W. Carey's answers

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On Mon, 11 Jan 16 23:21:08 UTC J.W. Carey (22) answered the Proust Questionnaire (click on a question to read other answers):

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?: Living in the grey nothingness; living in realism.
Where would you like to live?: Alone, or rather alone where I can be seen to be alone.
What is your idea of earthly happiness?: To be left alone with fire and food and the knowledge of better people than I.
To what faults do you feel most indulgent?: To using alcohol as a barrier for the creativity that I don't know is there.
Who are your favorite heroes of fiction?: Those of revolution, and who manifested their rebellion through their love.
Who are your favorite characters in history?: Those who didn't leave the world in a worse place than they found it.
Who are your favorite heroines in real life?: Those who obeyed their own conscience.
Who are your favorite heroines of fiction?: Ideals of humanity, not of feminity.
Your favorite painter?: Luca Giordano
Your favorite musician?: Bob Dylan
The quality you most admire in a man?: Intellectual honesty, personal morality.
The quality you most admire in a woman?: Intellectual honesty, personal morality.
Your favorite virtue?: Intellectual honesty, personal morality.
Your favorite occupation?: Solitude, walking in the warm fog.
Who would you have liked to be?: No one; myself or no one at all.
Your most marked characteristic?: An innate desire to be loved, and to reject that love.
What do you most value in your friends?: That they are blank slates; mirror images of each other and reflections of myself.
What is your principle defect?: Cowardice, hideousy, bigotry.
What to your mind would be the greatest of misfortunes?: To be blind, never to have gone mad.
What would you like to be?: Myself in six years; myself with the scars and the knowledge now.
What is your favorite color?: Nightmares.
What is your favorite flower?: The one dead flower hiding in my drawer, stolen, drunk.
What is your favorite bird?: The one I see in the air, alone.
Who are your favorite prose writers?: At the moment, Miller, Orwell, Varley.
Who are your favorite poets?: Ginsberg; there really are no others.
Who are your heroes in real life?: None.
Who are your favorite heroines of history?: Boudicca; the hopeless women.
What are your favorite names?: My own, I suppose.
What is it you most dislike?: My reflection, the way it looks at me sometimes.
What historical figures do you most despise?: Buddha, those who promote mind-slavery over thought.
What event in military history do you most admire?: Nemzeti Dal.
What natural gift would you most like to possess?: Beauty; I would love to be beautiful.
How would you like to die?: Alone, unloved, smiling in a hospital bed.
What is your present state of mind?: Exhaustion, tired of thought, of motion, of cognitive existence.
What is your motto?: None; there is no mantra that promotes thought.

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